Fitting

I was looking thru a quote website.

today and came across this quote that perfectly describes my overall feelings of these last few weeks.

 

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

I'm still in a dark place from the crazy encounter at the bus stop a few weeks ago when I was called the B World in front of a group of other moms. It was humilitating and more than angry, made be so so sad. I'd like to have a stronger backbone for such things, but I cant seem to get over such a horrible occurence.

I'm doing more damage to myself by obsessing over it, instead of letting it go. And its partly obsessing over this woman's public rant, and partly obsessing over wondering where in the world all of my other friends have gone.

 

And while I have a few solid friends that have stood by my side, there are several that have just chosen to be silent.

 

If you have good friends, hold on to them, they are priceless.

Comments

[Swampgirl]

I have found that moving carries a certain kind of grief with it. Perhaps some of your friends are already beginning to grieve for you. This would be unrelated to the incident yet a case of bad timing. Everyone handles grief in their own way. Some cling and some begin to be distant. Since I moved so much in my younger life I saw a lot of moving grief. I have watched my own children when their friends moved and very often there was a period when they or their friends began to withdraw. It is a way of protecting their heart from loss. Often the one moving does not notice as much because they are busy/overwhelmed at the time and it hits them later. Sorry about this bad memory at end of your Korean experience!

[Tammy (Norman's Woman)]

I understand your obsessing over it, but keep in mind that you're letting her humiliate you over and over again by continuing to think about it. She's obviously the bitch. I know you. You're not a bitch. Not at all! If I had been there, I would have popped her right in the mouth. Then I would have GLADLY been the bitch.

[Jamie]

I was in a situation virtually identical to this recently, and once I made the decision to just see whatever truth there may have been in the person's accusation and then mentally move on, I felt lighter, happier, and just BETTER about things. Of course, it wasn't easy, and there were some tears as I moved through my hurt feelings, but that's OK - that's normal.

The only person that truly knows you is you - and accusations like that are based on half-truths, situational assumptions, and biases. You have nothing to feel bad about, *plus* you have retained your southern discretion and etiquette, yes?

Head up. :)

[pam]

I've been there too when someone has said something negative to me. It's just like a tape player. I'm still working on letting things go and I guess my backbone has gotten a bit stronger with age. But, it's still hard. I wish I had better words of advice but just wanted to let you know that I understand. *hugs*

[stefanie]

I totally feel you. Just reading your story makes me angry and sad. I've had things said to me before, and I know well how long those stay with you. It's something I will always struggle to deal with. It's sad that people are so hurtful, and that I let their comments get under my skin. Good friends are hard to come by, and we realize as we get older how few real friends we really have.

[kristie]

what i was going to say is about the same thing as norman's tammy said. it is my opinion that to call someone a bitch out loud in front of other people is in poor taste and rather low class. also, knowing you i have no idea why anyone would ever call you that, so methinks this other person (i can not call her a lady) must have some sort of issue or problem going on in her life. also, i think swampgirl nailed it - your friends are already grieving for you even though you've not left yet.

[Laura]

I feel like anyone who calls any women a b*tch at the bus stop in front of everyone is just showing her own true class.

Besides, people who have outbursts like that and people who are so quick to judge a situation without thinking it through usually have many more issues with their own lives that cause them to feel inferior and insecure in social situations. The only way to overcome inferiority and insecurity is to belittle someone else in front of everyone else to appear to have power. The only thing is that everyone else knows they are nuts when they have outbursts like that!

You are not the b*tch, don't let her continue to devalue your character by thinking about it over and over. Instead, think of something you do that is great, such as the story time that you do and the awesome photography you do. You have a lot to be proud of about yourself.

[AM]

Thanks Laura! I really appreciate your words.